Wybór dowcipów zupełnie subiektywny, cześć z nich opiera się na grze słów:)

Why didn’t the rabbit  want to leave her burrow? She was having a bad hare day.

Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To see his flat mate.

Doctor, doctor. I’m afraid of squirrels. You must be nuts!

My wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to our six-year-old daughter and said, “Would you like to say the blessing?” I don`t know what to say,” she replied. “Just say what you hear your Mummy says,” my wife instructed. Our daughter bowed her head and said: “Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner”!

- What would you do if you were in my shoes?
- I would polish them.

- I have invented a computer that is almost human
- Really?
- Yes, when it makes a mistake it blames another computer

- Would you like to come to my party on Saturday?
- I’d love to. Where do you live?
- 15 Hinton Close. Just ring the doorbell with your elbow.
- Why do I have to ring the bell with my elbow?
- You’re not coming empty-handed, are you?

Did you hear about the man who bought a dictionary? He said he couldn’t understand the story but was very happy that each word was explained.

- I just discovered why I’m so clumsy. I’ve got 10 toes.
- Everybody has 10 toes.
- Seven on one foot and three on the other?

- When we are engaged I hope you’ ll give me a ring.
- Of course. What’s your phone number ?

Why did the lion lose at cards? Because he was playing with a cheetah.

What did the traffic light say to the zebra crossing? Don’t look now, I’m changing.

Betty went to the British Museum with her aunt. They went to the Egyptian room where they saw a mummy. ‘What’s that?’ asked Betty. “That’s someone’s mummy’. ‘Auntie, I’m glad my mummy doesn’t look like that.’

What are ghosts’ favourite kind of streets? Dead ends.

Why did the vampire read the Wall Street Journal?  He heard it had great circulation.